Gallery 1 — Dogs
Bernese Mountain Dog
Even though my people are originally from Switzerland, I have an affinity for Delta Blues and poker. I was in the original “Dogs Playing Poker” painting, but was Photoshopped out when I caught the bulldog cheating. My dream was to play blues harp with Blind Lemon Jefferson or Brownie McGhee, but I’m told that ship has sailed.
Whatever / Beverly, MA
Believe it or not, I was one day away from the ol’ dirt nap in Georgia when my Mom and Dad whisked me away to New England. To show my gratitude, I jumped over a six foot fence and ran away. Not sure what I was thinking. Anyhoo — stay the hell away from Georgia.
Blond Border Collie / Salem, MA
My worst memory was when I stole a half pound cheese then went to my dad, Gary, and asked him to open the back door so I could eat my cheese in peace, but Gary, the idiot, took the cheese away from me. If I was human, I would be the Queen and all the cheese tables would be so low that I could take all I wanted without asking for help from anyone, but especially Gary.
Golden Retriever / Salem, MA
First and foremost, I’m a very good boy. I love long walks on the beach, parties, and pizza crust. I really don’t care for lettuce or thunder, and I’m running out of slack for the groomers. My “happy place” is swimming but I mustn’t drink the water.
Tsang Apso / Marblehead, MA
I originally planned on being a pitbull but then I met one. Plus the whole blood sport thing. I’ll chase the odd squirrel (and really, aren’t they all?) but, I prefer lounging in the hammock with a glass of pinot noir and something smelly on toast points. You feel me?
Tamaskan / Marblehead, MA
It’s true I’m 12 years old, but I have the body of an 11 year old. I’m so luminescent that the full moon howls at me. Think of me as the Greta Garbo of Canis Lupus. I shall never marry.
Yorkshire Terrier / West Newbury, MA
I’m a rescue from Mississippi (yes, there was a huge line). I live in an old farm house now where life is good except for the coyotes and the mountain lion they saw on the back hill. I used to have a nervous tick. Then my Mom pulled it off my ear and flushed it down the toilet.
Bernese Mountain Dog / Beverly, MA
How beautiful am I? Just check out who’s on every other dog food package these days. I’m big and I’m loud and I would like to be surgically attached to my Mom and Dad. I also hold the record for the biggest dang tongue of any non-cetacean mammal.
Mixed Breed / Lynn, MA
My favorite movie scene is in Shawshank Redemption when Morgan Freeman takes the bus down to Mexico. When I got out of the joint in Arkansas, I rode 36 hours on the Diggity Dog Express Bus to New Hampshire to get adopted by my Mom. Now I just sit and stare at her for hours on end. Fun.
Malamute / Marblehead, MA
No, I’ve never raced in the Iditarod. Malamutes don’t do that. Malamutes don’t do any of those cutsie things that other dogs do. Malamutes are not easily impressed. I like saying “malamutes” a lot. The queen of Gallery 1- Dogs.
Portuguese Water Dog
Perhaps you’ve seen me coming out of the night when the full moon is bright. That’s when my parents are asleep and I slip over to MacDonald’s hoping someone drops half a Big Mac near the dumpster. My Dad only feeds me vegan kibble and vegan “cheese”. My god. . .
This picture was taken as we walked past a butcher shop last Tuesday. I can still smell the brats hanging in the window.
German Shepard / Marblehead, MA
When you’re this handsome, you might be tempted to think you’ve done all you need to do to deserve the occasional handful of sardines. But I work for a living. I’m a trained search and rescue dog. So if you like to hike in the woods, I recommend carrying a handful of sardines in your pocket in case you get lost. I will find you.